There is No Black in Nature

I discovered this shocking piece of information when I went camping this past summer in Wyoming. I saw magnificent shades of green, yellow, orange, red, even blues and purples, in the foliage, flowers, rock sediments, and rainbows created by waterfalls and sunlight. But I did not notice any black. At all. I didn't even see a bear, and they are black and supposedly roaming the woods throughout the state parks. I also didn't see any frum women AT ALL, and of course I would have spotted them from far away, because they only wear black! I am sure somewhere some non jewish people think it is a religious thing.
Okay, I know black is slimming. And I also know that thanks to Donna Karan it is actually considered a color. But look at your wedding pictures, or your parents' albums- every guest is wearing color! The dullest color is the bride's gown! Colored clothing has become very
out of town- like they are behind of fashion
nebby- like you got your clothes from Caldor or Walmart
fat enhancing- okay, I do agree with this. Black is slimming. But not slimming enough to change a shapeless salami body from a 14 to a 4. Come on.

I try to add color to my wardrobe. Very pinkish lipstick. Dangly sparkly earrings. A colored pocketbook. Perhaps a belt or funky necklace. But when you wear color, especially here in Brooklyn North, you get the Look from the black only I-look-like-I-came-from-a-funeral- women. Whose faces look like they came from a funeral. I think you have to look very intent and focused on your pomegranite seeds or Panko bread crumbs when shopping in black clothing.

I also think it comes from the middle of the road Judaism trying to move to the right and thinking every behavior and habit of the extreme right wing/chassidim must be better and right. So since that side tends to dress in very drab colors- black, navy, grey, and brown, the new black- we have slowly adopted that.

My fifteen year old revolted. She bought a red Shabbos coat.

Color is alive, energetic, inspiring, mood enhancing, enthusiastic.


But black? Like my pal Annie sez: it's an obsession.