Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Purim Collecting

see my poll.

my seventh grader came home saying his class is organizing groups to go collecting. The rebbi will pay for the car service to drive them around Monsey.

the group already decided they would send home any boy who drinks.

hunh? what adult would give a seventh grader anything but soda?

anyway, this is for a tzedaka that is a pet project of the rebbi.

Am I wrong to be horrified by this?

Encouraging our boys to be shnorrers and yentas?

because here in Monsey, the fun is not just the running around, or being driven around, and dancing in a sweaty furry costume.

it is about talking about the houses they've gone to, how big they are, how long the line is to get in to the house, what a G'vir the homeowner is, etc.

there is a discussion, either amongst the little collectors, or the person who organizes the group, about the people they are collecting from.

maybe I am extremely negative and jealous. maybe I am looking for the worst element of Purim. but my boys have had teachers and rebbeim who talk about these G'virim of the community, and will tell the boys,
"he just landed a great real estate deal"
"he started off with nothing straight out of kollel and look at him now"
"his father in law owns half the real estate on 5th avenue"
"his father supports all of Lakewood/Mir/Ponevich"

THIS is what we are teaching our children to revere?

please tell me your thoughts, maybe I need to be straightened out

and I welcome a better name for this post

Sunday, February 15, 2009

It's not normal how much we eat

At an all day lecture.

Begins about 8:30.

The crinkling bags begin at 8:35.

Cut up peppers, baby carrots (VERY noisy if chewed with mouth open), rice cakes.

Rice cakes with cream cheese.

The whole cream cheese container, conveniently with a knife. No wonder women walk in to these lectures with carry on bags like they're going to Israel.

That is in the first 15 minutes.

Then the break, when we all run to get another coffee and oversized overcaloried margerine laden muffin. Really just cake in a muffin paper holder. Very difficult to eat gracefully, once you've bitten off the top, since they are usually quite crumbly. Trust me, I've sampled them all.

Ten minutes after the break is over, new crinkling bags emerge from the shopping bag wrapped in the Macy's bag in the carry on bag. Out comes little strips of cheese (I can spot a South Beach Dieter anywhere) in baggies, then whole wheat flat breads with a small homemade portable container made out of a plastic cup cut in half with saran wrap on it. And chummus in the cup. THIS IS A PROBLEM. Baby carrots and pepper strips and cheese do not smell. Chummus does. And it must have come from a fresh container because it REALLY smells. Garlicy chummus on flat breads, wafting across the auditorium.

What this non jewish presenter thinks of all this wrapping and unwrapping of bags within bags and leftover pickle containers with big salads and crunchy noisy food in silver foil and whole packages and containers of cheeses and spreads and fruit wedges I do not know.

And this was all before 10:30 a.m.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Separate Seating in the Cemetery

Puppa has separate burial areas in their cemetery, so I heard at a vishnitz shiva. Yup, men in one section, women in the other. Tell me if you know otherwise

I am speechless

Thursday, February 5, 2009

The Stomach Virus Diet

have you heard of this?

tapeworm eggs to lose body mass.

Okay, I admit it. Twas in my spam mail. junk mail. Fake ads. Get rich quick/lose weight quick/change your life quick.

But you gotta admit, someone out there is making fun and probably making money, too.

I know someone who doesn't complain if she gets a stomach virus. It jump starts her winter diet. Appetite is nil, looking at food makes the stomach roil, and after a week, you have that healthy gaunt look.

What's your original way to lose weight?