Tuesday, June 16, 2009

My Bubbie Survived Auchwitz, My Dad Helps at Tomchei Shabbos, I Am Glad I Have Feet

What do those seemingly random titles have in common?
They were all put in a Cantata at a girls' graduation.

Instead of the usual boring and long cantata, written by a teacher where every other sentence ends in a verb, this year the school culled one line from each of the 90 graduates' yearbook contribution.
What, you exclaim? How can you take one sentence from each paragraph and make them all sound cohesive?

Guess what! You can't.

AND every other sentence ended in a verb:
My father that morning did to Slichos go,
and so he did miss that burning in-fer-no.
(about 9/11)

My grandma the camps did survive,
and b'chasdei hashem to her health she does thrive
(I would have written "b'chasdai hashem she still does survive" but that sounds a bit too good)

Then there were three lines in a row:
The Kedoshim of Mumbai
My father volunteers at Tomchei Shabbos
I appreciate the gift of sight or some other one of the five senses.

It was really awful.
I am sure the original paragraphs written by the graduates were wonderful. But who had the idea to combine sentences? And then why didn't anyone scream about how ridiculous this sounds?

Okay, this is like the Emperor's New WARDROBE.


G6 said...

Cantata :)

Something Different said...

Oh my gosh. I thought my elementary school graduation was bad! I had to say: "sarah imeinu surpassed avraham avinu in nevuah, and recognized that yitzchak's spirituality was endangered, by the negative influences of yishmael"

Gosh it's been years and i am still traumatized.

citizen of brooklyn north said...

at least you got to say a few sentences. my daughter, at her graduation, got four words:
"Borchi Nafshi Es Hashem"

kept her up nights practicing that one to perfection....