There is a ritual that takes place in my son's yeshiva that is well known to all bar mitvah boys, but hitherto unknown to me. And, I suspect, to many parents out there.
It is the Ritual of The Giving Out of Donuts, and more important, The Holding Of The Box.
My son is putting on Tefillin this week. We were discussing it on Shabbos.
Older son: So who is holding The Box?
almost Bar Mitzva son: Not sure yet. I held Chaim's box last week, maybe he'll hold mine.
The rest of us sat at the Shabbos table completely clueless about this topic. So we asked, what box? what are you two talking about?
Younger son: The Box! The Box with The Donuts!! You give out donuts (but I don't want donuts) the day you put on Tefillin, and you go to all your classmates, and then some rebbeim. I need 40, since I am giving to every rebbi I have had since Pre 1-A.
Older Son: with A Flap? A Cover Flap?
Younger Son: of course!! that's part of the whole shtick!
Part of this ritual is the Tefillin boy walks around the school, giving out donuts to classmates, neighborhood friends, and various rebbeim. The Friend chosen to help is almost knighted, and the best kind of Box to carry is the One With the Cover That Has A Flap. Part of the ritual is opening and closing the box.
So Younger Son told us he wants Black & Whites, not donuts. Too much arguing about custard, jelly, icing, etc. This way everyone will get the same cookie.
Husband: Great!! You can get one or two boxes of those cute little black & white cookies from Costco. Cost efficient. And the plastic box has a cover that flips over.
Younger Son: (Nearly apoplectic) WHAT?? Those black & whites are tiny! I need you to order them from Zisha's! Individuals that I can Give Out From The Box!!
Older Son: (sigh) you are so lucky. I got gyped, I didn't get to do the Whole Box Thing. I put on Tefillin in camp!
Me: We gave your whole bunk donuts!
Older Son: It just wasn't the same thing.
So I ordered 42 from Zisha's.
What we do for our children....