Yes, that confusing title is the message being sent to our children today. Mainly the girls, but the boys as well. I love it when there is a "theme" of the year, such as
"Bishvili Nivra Ha'olam" (someone help me figure out how to insert hebrew letters here),
or "Our Individuality Is What Makes Us Special"
or "Hashem Loves All Of Us, Even If We Are Not Perfect",
or the best, "You Don't Have To Impress Other People To Be Accepted".
What a load of malicious duplicity we are inflicting on our children!!
OF COURSE we don't want them to be individuals! They must all dress the same way. A girl who loves bright colors cannot wear anything too colorful, since there are rules (here in Monsey, anyway) about shoe color, tights color, earring color, probably coat color. You know those cute Claire's earrings, that are in the shape of a flip-flop or a banana? Ossur. To0 "rechovi".
The twelfth grade in my daughters' high school wanted to order sweatshirts. They were told they couldn't get hoodies, or sweaters/sweatshirts with zippers. Not a refined look. Guess what, Menahalos! Some people like to dress casual. Dare I say it? Even shlumpy! Sloppy! Not intentionally, but that is their preferred mode of dress. Blazers and formal clothes are not exactly appealing to the average 15 year old! So when did "refined" become the only way to dress tzniusdikly?
And I think that the reason so many girls push the limits regarding clothing is because they see the message they are getting with all these "themes" and Yomei Iyun is that, they aren't REALLy allowed to be individuals. They must conform to a set a rules defined more and more by the chassidish world, and being viewed everywhere as the only way to be a true right wing frum person.
Read the article in last week's Mishpacha Magazine (which I love every week, btw). About people being drawn to the chassidish world and it's effect on them and their relationships with family. There is very little vocal opposition to the masses being enthralled by everything chassidish.
And our principals and moros and teachers and rebbeim need to stop panicking that if someone wants to be a little out of the box, different, creative, it means they are on the road to decadence and immorality.