The Problem is You Think You Have to Entertain Them...

All those who send their kids away for the summer, or go away to summer homes, are now back and whining and complaining.

"I have to entertain my children for another week! How many perks do these rebbis and moros need? If THEY had to work a regular full time job, THEY wouldn't want their kids home! Why do our children have to have another week of vacation? Just 'cuz the rest of the world (not to be confused with "the oilom") start after Labor Day, WE have to?"

Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah. Quite whining. You sound ridiculous:
1. They are YOUR children. This 10 week summer vacation did not start with your kids when tey entered elementary school. Remember? You loved all that vacation time when you were a child, now it is their turn!

2. Stop using the word "entertain". It clearly shows the way you are raising your children. Start thinking about this when they are infants, toddlers, little children. Teach them how to have fun without you orchestrating and controlling every minute. Let them see the joy of being content with being by themselves for a little bit. Allow your children to find fun in mundane things, and teach them WHEN THEY ARE YOUNG that you are not a camp director, and it is okay if they have a few days without running to the mall, having pizza for all meals, spending a free whole day at an amusement park, etc.

3. You know in June that when end of August comes around, you will have to make some plans for your children. Call other moms and make arrangements. It is likely your friends are in the same situation as you are. If not, this is the time to pull out games they haven't played in a while, have them bake for yomtov, or, Gasp! Let them organize ball games, trips to the park, or if older, trips to other places with a parent or two to volunteer to drive them.

4. Let your bigger kids organize a pre- school camp for different ages. Or if you are an entrepreneur, YOU be the camp director and arrange activities and trips for those kids of your friends who are falling apart and have nothing to do with their kids!


and really, stop complaining about the "perks" of teaching. If you aren't in chinuch, you get perks, too. Like every legal holiday off. Like health insurance. Like yearly bonuses or raises.

And if you are in a job that doesn't have those perks, so, you don't have them! Guess what?! Not everyone has it easy! Not everyone has the good life! Not everyone has perks!

Really, it is so tiresome to hear this every year. Make plans in advance.

Vinnews.com has a GREAT sense of humor!!

This is just such a great joke!

I mean, it has to be a joke. otherwise it is just to stupid to even explain.

Vinnews.com, known in Eli's Bagels and Mechel's as Vosizneias, has an article about how two AP photographers took pictures of chareidi women at a separate beach in Tel Aviv.
The outrage!
The lack of Privacy!
The Lack of Sensitivity to the Orthodox Chareidi Woman (sorry, Lady)!!
The Rudeness!
The Trickery!

So of course I had to look at the picture to see if it's some Ortho Babe from Bnei Brak.
Maybe it would even be a relative or someone I'd recognize! Hey, Israel ain't that big.
The article pointed out that the faces were "edited out". Oh well, still worth a look.

GUESS WHAT??!!

IT IS A BUNCH OF WOMEN SITTING IN THEIR HOUSECOATS!
It is just so untzniusdik to see women in their shapeless housedresses and stockings. And turbans. Those AP photographers should be ashamed that they photographed women at a separate beach dressed as if they were going shopping or watching their kids in the park.


An outrage. Time to throw diapers and burn cars





http://www.vosizneias.com/37140/2009/08/23/jerusalem-yedioth-ahronoth-publishes-photos-of-charedi-women-at-separate-beaches/

Each One of You Are Special- But Why Are You Different?

Yes, that confusing title is the message being sent to our children today. Mainly the girls, but the boys as well. I love it when there is a "theme" of the year, such as
"Bishvili Nivra Ha'olam" (someone help me figure out how to insert hebrew letters here),
or "Our Individuality Is What Makes Us Special"
or "Hashem Loves All Of Us, Even If We Are Not Perfect",
or the best, "You Don't Have To Impress Other People To Be Accepted".

What a load of malicious duplicity we are inflicting on our children!!

OF COURSE we don't want them to be individuals! They must all dress the same way. A girl who loves bright colors cannot wear anything too colorful, since there are rules (here in Monsey, anyway) about shoe color, tights color, earring color, probably coat color. You know those cute Claire's earrings, that are in the shape of a flip-flop or a banana? Ossur. To0 "rechovi".

The twelfth grade in my daughters' high school wanted to order sweatshirts. They were told they couldn't get hoodies, or sweaters/sweatshirts with zippers. Not a refined look. Guess what, Menahalos! Some people like to dress casual. Dare I say it? Even shlumpy! Sloppy! Not intentionally, but that is their preferred mode of dress. Blazers and formal clothes are not exactly appealing to the average 15 year old! So when did "refined" become the only way to dress tzniusdikly?

And I think that the reason so many girls push the limits regarding clothing is because they see the message they are getting with all these "themes" and Yomei Iyun is that, they aren't REALLy allowed to be individuals. They must conform to a set a rules defined more and more by the chassidish world, and being viewed everywhere as the only way to be a true right wing frum person.

Read the article in last week's Mishpacha Magazine (which I love every week, btw). About people being drawn to the chassidish world and it's effect on them and their relationships with family. There is very little vocal opposition to the masses being enthralled by everything chassidish.

And our principals and moros and teachers and rebbeim need to stop panicking that if someone wants to be a little out of the box, different, creative, it means they are on the road to decadence and immorality.

The Lights Are On, But Nobody's Home

Thank you G6 for your creative and amusing title. It has been put to good use.


what's with flashing or honking friends as you drive by? I was at an intersection off of 306 this afternoon when I heard wild honking. I whipped my head around and shrieked to my kids, "what?! what is it? Do I have a flat? Did I run over a streimel? was it a streimel on a head? Is there a cop honking me? who is it? who is it?"

My kids stopped talking and just stared at me. I had a wild look and my whipping around flipped my shaitel into my mouth, and the ends got caught on my sunglasses. I was frightful looking.

Thank you to my friend who doesn't call me but feels the need to honk like a meshugana when she sees me.

OR...
flashing someone from behind them. I was waiting to turn a corner, when a minivan pulled up behind me, like really, really close behind me. then she started flashing her headlights. First I thought, "Are my lights on but they shouldn't be? Are my lights off when they should be on? Did I go through a red light? Was I suppose to turn?"
then I got annoyed and thought, no way is that female flashing her brights because I didn't make the left turn when there was a five second break between the 18 wheeler and the school bus. She must be kidding! I was really irked and distracted, then my youngest shouted, "Hey Ma! It's your friend _____!!"

when I drive, I drive. I flash my brights if it is 8:45 and getting dark and oncoming traffic doesn't have their lights on.

And I honk when someone is walking with their back to the traffic three feet off the shoulder. Or when I pull into a driveway to pick someone up.

You want to talk to me? great! CALL ME ON THE PHONE!!


now come up with a title for this post

I saw a couple today

today as I pulled into a parking lot I saw a couple getting out of a Camry.
The car looked well maintained, and they looked young, so I assumed they are a relatively new young couple. The guy came out first. He was not too tall, but well built. The latest in (what looked to me) cool athletic footwear. He had strong features, beautiful blue eyes (we got out of our car almost at the same time, and I notice blue eyes), and said something to his wife that made him smile- and it was a great smile.
He quickly stepped around the back of the car to get his wife, who was coming out of her side. She had beautiful auburn hair (the two inches of it I could see) and he said something to her that made her laugh- the classic tinkling sweet laugh you read about in Victorian novels and wait to hear. That was her laugh. He took her hand and they went into the store. I thought about how happy they looked. They have their whole future ahead of them, prime of their youth, a lifetime of raising kids, building relationships, enjoying life together. I sighed and thought how fast those 23 years have gone for me, since I was first married. Happy times, but gone by so quickly.

Later I saw an older couple getting out of a Toyota Camry. Actually, an old couple. The man was short and gave the appearance of having once been well built. He was wearing what was probably the latest is comfortable orthotic footwear, solid and comfortable. He had blue eyes which looked alert but he blinked a lot and rubbed his eyes. He leaned into the car and said something to his wife- and smiled a smile that probably still thrills her. He slowly made his way around the back of the car, holding onto the trunk for support, and pausing at least once. When he got to his wife to help her out, I could see her hair was dyed auburn - probably trying to keep the color it once had been in her youth. He said something to her that made her laugh, a slow, trembling, delicate laugh, low timbre. Her hand shook a bit as she gave him her hand, and together they slowly shuffled towards the store. I thought of how they had probably been a lifetime together, raising a family, seeing happy times and hardships, going through their prime years and now their golden years. They were now as they had been when they were first married, just older, more comfortable with each other, more entwined.
I hope those years will be so wonderful for me. I didn't think the first 23 would go by so quickly, and I hope the next decades are filled with happiness and contentment. Like I saw on the faces of both couples.

I Saw A Woman Today

I saw a woman today whom I used to sit behind in shul.
She was always dressed beautifully.
Her hats always matched her dresses.
Her daughter was slim, pretty, very with it, popular with the crowd of young people hanging around outside of shul.
Her husband was a "macher" in the shul- loud, outspoken, rich and influential in shul politics.
She seemed, back then, bigger than life.

I saw her today and almost didn't recognize her.
I haven't grown much in the past 20 years. She must have shrunk a little.
Her hair wasn't "done".
As she pushed the shopping cart she was shuffling along. In her practical orthopedic shoes and a long denim skirt. She looked so old. And frail. And smaller.

I saw a woman today whom I knew when I was young and she was my mother's contemporary.

what happened?

20 years passed by. Life has continued. She is a great grandmother.

The things that I noticed that seemed important 20 years ago are not so important now.
She didn't know who I was.

and here's another one...

a teacher in one of the bais yaakov schools told her class how she was very inspired by something she heard while passing the Bais Rochel elementary school (Bais Rochel is super right wing/yeshivish/no denim out of school/a step away from chassidish).

The girls were playing machanayim and shouting, "The ball is not alive! It's a not alive ball!"

The BY teacher told her class, "I thought it was so refined and inspiring, a much nicer word than dead!"

huh??

I think it just proves they have a limited English vocabulary and make poor word choices.


Ma, there is a not alive bug on my pillow. The interior light was left on and now my car battery is not alive. Gentlemen, that idea is not alive in the water.


I get it. We are different. Saying to a person, "you touch that, buddy, and you are dead meat" is not the most polite or mentchlach way to talk. Speech is very important to us, choice of words are a reflection of how we live and what is meaningful to us. No arguement there. But what is wrong with saying dead?
This is Monsey. We revel in not using the correct words. for example:

A member of the armed forces? an army man
paper towels are called towel paper (like toilet paper) amongst the Rockland Kosher crowd.

I don't want to go with you but.

My mother she doesn't let me go.


and there is a difference between limited vocabulary and yinglish.



sheesh.